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Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006
12:15 am - new

hey you guys, I'm new here. I've been dating nick for four months.. may not seem long but it's going really well.. only thing is he told me some of the guys are getting deployed and i cant stop thinking about him getting deployed. he's out of the room right now and i just want to cry, i wanna cuddle and just be with him because for the past week or so ive felt like i wont be with him enough.. i dont know. like our time is going to run out.. gosh i miss him just thinking about it. me wanting to cuddle and just lay in bed and talk the way we used to, does that make me clingy/needy? or is his normal. the last guy i dated was in the air force, i dont think he was a "good guy" but he kind left me jaded.. he told me he was going to be gone for a month, then never came back. still hasnt returned to this day, i dont think about him or anything, my love is all for nick but i cant help but think of nick not returning.. and it scares me. any advice would be helpful.. thanks.

current mood: sad

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Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
9:16 pm - I got a letter...

Two letters, actually, from my husband. The first ones I've received since he left for BMT last month. I swear, I can't stop reading them...

Anyway, I heard this song the other day at work and nearly had to just close my eyes and listen because I could relate so well.

"No Place That Far" by Sara Evans

I can't imagine, any greater fear
Then waking up, with out you near
And though the sun, will still shine on
My whole world, would all be gone
But not for long

If I had to run
If I had to crawl
If I had to swim a hundred rivers
Just to climb a thousand walls
Always know that I would find a way
To get to where you are
There's no place that far

It wouldn't matter, why we're apart
The lonely miles, two stubborn hearts
And nothing short, of God above
Could turn me away, from your love
I need you that much

repeat chorus

Oh if I had to run
(if I had to run)
Of I had to crawl
(If I had to crawl)
If I had to swim a hundred rivers
Just to climb a thousand walls
Always know that I would find a way
To get to where you are
There's no place that far
Baby there's no place that far

current mood: loved

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Sunday, August 28th, 2005
2:13 pm - New member posting a song :)

This song has been on my mind a lot lately, for various reasons...mainly probably because months before we even knew if he could get into the military, my husband made me promise him that I wouldn't leave if he had to leave me alone for an extended period of time.

"Right Here Waiting" by Richard Marx

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn't stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I though would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can't get near you now

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I'm with you
I'll take the chance

Oh, can't you see it baby
You've got me goin' crazy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

current mood: restless

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Friday, February 4th, 2005
11:26 pm - Thought some might relate to this...

The bed was occupied yet it was cold. Hell, the bed had been cold for months now, but that didn't make the hurt any less. After muttering several choice words at the alarm she rose out of their - no her bed. A year ago she would have rolled to the side, wrapped her arms around her lover, and continued to sleep. Now she rolled onto the side only to see cold emptiness. Her lover would never touch those sheets again because her lover would never touch this Earth again. There was no sorrow as deep as waking up alone.

The morning rays had begun to peek through the shades. Oh how she used to love the sun, its rays bearing the promise of a new day. Now all it did was remind her that she would have to face yet another alone. Sometimes she swore that she could feel the touch of her lover's arms, wrapping around her waist as they stood in their ritual morning-time embrace. For those few moments the entire world stopped spinning and nothing mattered but the two firmly clutching each other. The phantom sensation of arms only reminded her of her loss. She escaped to the kitchen, haunted by memories.

Trying to forget the dull emptiness in her body she began to brew a fresh pot of coffee. She always laughed at how her lover could not go a morning without it. After her lover was gone she found that now she couldn't go a morning without it either. It was in a way her own private tribute to her lost love.

As she opened the refrigerator to retrieve fresh cream, her eyes flickered upon a similar carton, though much older. She always meant to throw it out but when it came down to it she never could. Somehow an outdated carton of cream was another memorial to her lost love.

All day she found she could occupy herself in various tasks, putting the never-ending mourning to the back of her mind. Mornings though were a pain all their own; they had been special, their time together, now her time alone. Sitting at the table with steam rising from the hot coffee in hand and a steady ache radiating though her heart, she had to admit: nothing was worse than waking up alone.

current mood: blah

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Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
3:44 pm - Hello all
scramli6 Hey thanks for your help:) Well, hello everyone. I am new here (obviously) and just wanted to say hello and tell you a bit about me. I am 20 and going to college for nursing. I hope to become an officer in the army nursing corp. My soon-to-be husband is at basic training in Ft. lost in the woods....oh I mean FT. Leonard Wood, MO. He graduates from AIT in March, and we get married on 21 May 2005! We have been together almost 5 years; it will be 5 years in July. He has been away at basic since 13 Oct. 2004, came home for 2 weeks for Exodus, and left for AIT on 3 Jan 2005. I miss him so much, and what scares me the most is that he may leave as soon as June for Iraq. Geeze, I tear up just writing this. I could handle 2 years of deployment for him...but not so soon after him being gone for almost 6 months! Sometimes life is so cruel:( I am staying strong now by keeping bust with Army ROTC classes, but I don't want to think about what this summer may bring. I have adopted the motto "One day at a time" which helps a TON. Well, now that I have written a mini novel, I hope to communicate with all of you soon:)

current mood: calm

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Friday, January 14th, 2005
1:03 am - Copied from elsewhere...

You know you are a Military Girlfriend/Fianceee/Wife when...

...you don't mind a phone call waking you up at 4 a.m.

...you tell people that ask that he's 'only' been gone a month.

...the smallest contact (short email) from your man makes your entire week!

...you cry over an email that says nothing more than hi and I miss you.

...you email everyone in your address book when you receive a one liner email from him

...those recruitment commercials on TV make you cry because you are so proud!

...your sentences start containing more [acronyms] and numbers than actual words.

...you sleep in PT attire, cuddled up in a poncho liner, because it's the closest you can come to being with him

...you're sitting at home and you realize that you haven't talked to him in over a month.

...you get super excited just knowing that he tried to call but wasn't able to get through.

...the first military ball you go to as a [girlfriend] your name tag says "Mrs. Is that a self fulfilling prophecy or what?!?

... your favorite 'man' to see everyday is the MAILMAN (what a love/hate relationship that is).

... you refer to everyone not in the military or dating someone in the military as a Civilian, you can rattle off the time in perfect military time without having to think and finally you get excited when you can name the assault rifle correctly.

...a 30 second phone call after no calls from him for 3.5 months leaves you full of joy and happiness, and "No news is good news" becomes your motto.

...the motto "no shore too distant’ becomes your life.

...you could wait forever for your loved one to return home into your arms.

...you feel yourself growing more and more in love with him even while he's so far away.

...planning letters/ care packages and putting them in the mail is more exciting then going out for a night on the town with the girls

...you don't mind tripping over combat boots left in the middle of the bedroom floor.

...while enjoying an evening alone together, your boyfriend shows you all the different ways he knows to kill or incapacitate a man, and then you casually continue cooking dinner as though it's perfectly normal, and you find yourself learning phrases in foreign languages from letters, and aren't surprised when you realize you know how to say, "Throw down your weapons and lay down on the ground!" in Arabic

...you hold off on seeing certain movies so you can see them with him when he comes home

...you want to roll your eyes when you hear someone say "I haven’t seen my boyfriend in a week!"

.....you can be go from being happy, to sad, to lonely, to angry, to proud, and back to happy in a matter of less than an hour

..... and you sleep with the phone right next to you, just in case he calls

...if he's deployed you don't care how your hair looks nor care about wearing make-up, and the people at your work ask about him every day to see if you've heard from him

...you start saying thing like "Wow that is a really nice box. Are you going to use that for anything?" to total strangers.

...you can give the rates for all the long distance calling cards on the market without hesitation.

...the sight of any other man in a uniform makes you miss your boyfriend MORE than it makes you drool, and you try to explain to civilians what your boyfriend does for a living, they give you a blank look because they don't understand a third of what you just said.

...you feel lucky for each second granted to the two of you.

...every new watch you buy had a two time zone feature.

...you'll spend a total of 42 hours round trip on a greyhound bus just to be able to see him for a total of 4 days.

...you are 3000 miles apart and you don’t notice the time difference and talk until 5 am his time 2am your time on a school night, and phone kisses are just as good as the real ones if not better (ummmm real ones are always better)

...you realize you can forgive your bf for not calling you for a few weeks due to the fact he really had to work.

...you write _JavaScript programs to display how many days and hours before he returns every time you go online

..... your cell phone shows 87 screens full of the number 2 for "repeat message" after you hear he left you a voice mail message because you missed his first and only call so far!

...you get used to your plans changing at the last minute and taking a trip to Germany for 4-days with a 7-day notice seems very normal, and going 3-6 months without seeing him seems like a drop in the bucket compared to other women you know and what you have been through before.

...you have seen the following movies more than 100 times: Full Metal Jacket, Platoon, Heartbreak Ridge, The Right Stuff, Top Gun, and Apocalypse Now.

...you haven't heard from them in while you find yourself reading the old letters you have received is just something comforting to feel close in a way

...you don't bat an eyelash when he say's "Uh, Honey they changed when I'm supposed to return home, yet again (for the 18th millionth time)".

current mood: insomniac yet again

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Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
10:54 pm - More lyrics...completely different genre this time!

I know this is getting redundant but this song made me cry so bad and I just had to post it. I've loved this group for a while and now so even more. It's just too perfect.

I put away the groceries
And I take my daily bread
I dream of your arms around me
As I tuck the kids in bed
I don’t know what you’re doing
And I don’t know where you are
But I look up at that great big sky
And I hope you’re wishing on that same bright star
I wonder, I pray
I sleep alone
I cry alone
And it's so hard living here all alone
So please come home soon
Come home soon
I know that we’re together
Even though we’re far apart
And I’ll wear our lucky penny
Round my neck pressed to my heart
I still imagine your touch
It’s beautiful missing something that much
But sometimes love needs a fighting chance
So I’ll wait until it’s our turn to dance
I wonder, I pray
I sleep alone
I cry alone
Without you this house is not a home
So please come home soon
I walk alone
I try alone
I’ll wait for you,
I don’t want to die alone
So please, come home soon
(((SheDaisy "Come Home Soon")))

~~~> To any who've joined, feel free to post/spread the community. For those viewing it who aren't LJ members, GET ONE! Hehe <3 you guys! <~~~


current mood: contemplative

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Monday, October 25th, 2004
12:34 pm - Greetings!

Hi all! I just wanted to say a general hello and welcome any who are joining...
This community was created by me mostly for the fact that I love to write and feel that others in similar situations would understand more so where I was coming from. Feel free to post lyrics to songs, excerpts from letters, stories of your own personal experiences or fictional ones, anything you want regarding armed services and the loved ones that are involved in it.
Have a great day!

I am listening to this song right now and it seemed appropriate:

Seether f. Amy Lee "Broken"
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel light when you’re gone away

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

current mood: melancholy

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